i think i did bit off more than i could chew. i should have shut my big fat mouth before i stuck my cute dainty little foot in it. but i didn't. it's here so now its too late...

i can't turn back time. i can't go back to what i was before. to what things were before. i'm here. it's here. i am my own undoing. i would have to grit my teeth and live with this choice. i have to accept the fact that some people have to move on while i must remain in inertia. that everyone has to move on with their lives at some point. then i have to face the fact that there will be a 'now' in a not so distant time, that i will be forced to move on, to let go... no matter how much i abhor leaving or changing.

unintentionally i have spilled the milk, someone has cried over it. i didn't. i mourned over the loss of something else. no point in mourning over something that can never be reconstituted.

like flowers that die in winter, i would have to wait for spring. but spring is a long time coming. there is no reprieve for me...at least for now.

this is my winter. around me everything is beautifully dead in white