i told you i loved you
but you laughed it off.
you said:
you and your funny jokes
have just made my day.

well i hope i did
because you have just made mine.
i wished:
i had kept my silence,
maintained my distance.

instead i told you:
yes what a joke.
but i choke on every syllable that left my lips.
every word was tasteless in my mouth.

i will never learn.
you will never understand.
i don't know when to stop.
and we will go on as before.

i know you will never see me.
even when i am in front of you,
you have always look beyond.
when i speak, you never listen.

i am caught in a spiral.
the faster it spins the deeper i go;
the stronger the pull...
the harder to let you go.