i don't think luck has anything to do with it

i finally had my sonomammography results explained to me 15 days after my ultrasound. last night i even dreamt about it. in my dreams i have a cyst on the underside of my left breast. that creeps me out. the first thing i did after i woke up was feel it. nothing there. whew. but the lump at 1 o'clock is there. i've had it for some time. no biggie. really. because if there's one on the underside that would make it two on my left. i was told that most breast cancers occur on the left. my mom's cancer was on the left and it was (almost) under her arms that is why we never noticed it until she told us because it was mostly hidden. now you have something to look out for.

my results said:

Assessment slash Recommendation:

BIRADS CATEGORY: 3

Distinct hypoechoic masses with suggestively benign (encircled by my doctor in blue) sonographic features, bilateral. Short-term follow-up by sonography ater 6 months suggested to monitor stability. Simple cyst, left.

According to the footnote on the results BIRADS category 3 means: Probably Benign Finding; Short Interval Follow Up Suggested.

the probably there gives me the heebie jeebies but my doctor says that they don't operate on them unless they are bigger than 20mm. it makes me happy that i don't have to go under the knife but it's unnerving to know that i'd be living with "distinct hypoechoic masses at 1 o'clock position(left) and at 3 & 4 o'clock positions (right) ranging from 3.6mm to 12.6mm."

the biggest is on my right at 4 o'clock. they could not be certain whether these are solid or cystic in nature due to lack of distinguishing characteristics. but i remember how i came to notice this lump on my right. i felt a little pain there after wearing bra with wires all day. upon checking it out i found the lump. i stopped wearing bras with wires after that. i don't have any illusions on living longer but why tempt the divil, roight?

the second biggest is on my left at 1 o'clock at 6.8mm. that one i've had it for some time. even before my mom notice hers. it's the only one noted as simple cyst. walls are distinct with no evident irregularity or solid component.

overall diagnosis - No features suspicious for malignancy seen.


i guess that means that i get to live a little longer. small reprieve.


yeah big deal.


let's see what happens in may for my next check up.




and if you're wondering why not a mammogram?

*Patients ages 25 years old and below are not subjected to mammography due to sensitivity of breast tissues to radiation and low incidence of breast cancer in these age groups.




"That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another.... "- Charles Schultz

the doctor is IN

i just got back from my ob-gyne. my heart was literally in my throat. but since october being breast cancer awareness month, every newspaper and webpage i seem to be browsing is telling me to go see a doctor.

so today my friend kb and i went to maxicare to get a referral. since it is my first time, i agreed to have a doctor there for a check up. but after waiting for more than 30 minutes for my name to be called, i decided to ask for a referral instead. my nerves can't stand the waiting and my stomach has been empty since last night. its almost 1 pm.

after getting our referrals, we went to makati med. i almost ask kb not to leave me alone. she had an appointment with an eent on the second floor. i left her at the eent clinic but not before she jokingly said "gagawin mo pa akong nanay." i don't really feel like going alone to meet my ob-gyne. but i've been putting it off for a long time and i just had to do it before i set my mind to leave this company for good.

since it was my first serious check up. she asked the usual questions about our family's breast cancer history. so i told her the story: my mom passed away due to breast cancer last may and my aunt (my father's sister) had a mastectomy about a few months ago. she asked when my mom was diagnosed and i said last year. she asked, "do i have a sister? " and i said yes. since i have history on both sides, she told me i should have a regular check up after this. my sister too. i didn't ask her how often "regular check up" meant.

she told me she found some small lumps. but to be sure what those are, i better get a breast ultrasound due to my family's history with the disease. she gave me a slip to take back to maxicare.

when i got there, this guy told me that the makati med breast clinic schedule is full. there's an open schedule for october 31st, but its at 3pm. i asked for a 4pm sched, but they're only open until 3pm. wtf. but i have work that day. i asked to be sched for october 29th instead, but its a holiday - i'm told. damn. so i was scheduled for november 5th at 2.30 pm since the morning shedule is full as well. double damn.

i haven't told my family yet. i plan to tell my sister, my brother and my cousin. sincemy cousin works as a nurse in makati med, it would be awkward inventing a reason if i bump into her there. so might as well tell. i'll wait until i have the ultrasound result before i let the rest of the familia in on the secret. no need to give thm a heart attack before i know for sure.

if it's possible to die from too much anticipation, i'm sure i'd be dead by november 5. geez, then that would save me from having to go through the ultrasound and this waiting.

waiting is such a bitch....