Tuesday, February 10, 2009

He who is dying of hunger must be fed rather than taught. - St. Thomas Aquinas

i was in nato last Friday and Saturday with my bosses. our group was conducting a focus group discussion (fgd) on gender and development with mothers and teachers in the barangay. we were suppose to head to Atulayan island the next day for another fgd but because of bad weather we had to cancel.

this fgd was probably the root of that outburst yesterday... hmmm....

it's depressing work...
i know you're not suppose to take it home but it's hard to not to think about it. you learn things that now that you know about it, you'd rather not have known. now i know why there are many cynics here in research.

nato is a coastal/fishing barangay in the municipality of Sagñay. it has great beaches. like any other fishing community, it is plagued by one problem on top of the another. poverty, hunger, malnutrition... the usual group. but life goes on and the people make do with what they can.

the most de
pressed area according to the residents is la purisima. some settlers in this area came from parts of albay like misibis, tiwi, etc. we never made it to la purisima but the older residents refer to it as the squatter's area of the barangay. shanties right next after the other. problems with teenage pregnancies, couples as young as 13 or 14 already living together having kids more than they can afford to feed (most have more than 5 kids). infant mortality is alarming. one mom lost 4 babies aged between 2-8 months.

some of the teacher
s we interviewed said that the barangay doesn't lack educational facilities. although some of their students' desks are.... well never mind. it's not their fault.

their barangay has a daycare center, elementary, high school and a community college. but there are parents who cannot afford to send their children to school. kids as young as grade 2 and 3 help their parents earn money. those who are too young to fish, go around the village selling fish. teachers said that absenteeism is rampant especially during lean months when there is little fish caught. kaldero's (pots) with cooked rice disappear never to be seen again.

kids going to school on an empty stomach is common. no dinner the night before and no breakfast to be had before going to school the next day. so the teachers said they solicited funds to feed about 20 students from poor families so that these kids can continue going to school. if they go to school they get to eat.

there is a story that after a severe storm, the governor once gave the residents roofs (made of galvanized iron sheets) for their houses. since fishing is seasonal, there are times when there is very little fish caught to feed the entire family. when hard times came, queues of people were seen carrying those same sheets to the centro to sell their roofs. after all, what good is a roof if one is about to pass out from hunger?

the stories are told in such a funny humorous way, that at the same time i laugh while i cringe inside. these people are caught in such a vicious cycle. that whatver that happened to the father and the mother may well be the very fate of their sons and daughters. it's sad to always end up where you've begun.


After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done. - Unknown

Monday, February 9, 2009

familiarity breeds contempt... and the road to hell is paved with well-intentioned golf balls


after an interrupted ym conversation with jade, i realized that may mga hassle nga naman ang New Testament. sana hindi ako tamaan ng kidlat dito pero...

dapat may mga moments na pwede namang i justify ang an "eye for an eye and an ipin for an ipin" no? pag binato ka ng hollow block, babatuhin mo ba ng tinapay?? i guess it depends on several factors (ceteris paribus, lalo na ang f
actor na di ka sana napuruhan dun sa binatong hollow block):

a.) malapit ka ba sa panaderia
b.) masarap ba yung tinapay? (sayang eh... a tasty tinapay is hard to come by lalo na paglibre)
c.) singtigas ba ng bato ang tinapay (if yes, kebs na, proceed with the throwing...)
d.) mabilis ka bang umilag at tumakbo (importante to, mahal ang mag pa ospital).

hindi ko alam kung bakit ganito ako mag isip. hindi naman ako pinalaki ng ganito ng
mama ko. hay... bakit ang hirap magpakabait sa panahon na'to.

tulad ng... bakit hindi ko makumbinsi ang sarili ko na magsimba. ang lagi kong binibigay na rason sa aking tita ay ang panget magsermon ng mga pari dito sa naga. hahaha! turuan ba magsermon ang pari. pero hindi ako matamaan. o kung matamaan man hindi ito sapat para ako ay tumakbo at magbalik sa simbahan. sabihin na natin na para pa rin akong naglalakad sa buwan.

hindi naman sa tinalikuran ko na at hindi ako naniniwala sa Dios, may lq lang kami.
disillusioned lang ako - parang magdalo. pero hindi naman ako mag aalsa o magku coup d'etat. i'm just thinking out loud.

on the upside, kung matatawag man itong as such, buti na rin lang siguro at ito ang kinalakihan ko na relihiyon. dahil kung ako ay napunta sa iba, baka matagal na akong itinumba. kahit papano nagpapasalamat pa rin ako at nagkaroon ng Vatican II.

hindi ko mawari kung kelan nagsimula... at kung sinong ahas ang nagbigay sakin ng mansanas na nagmulat sakin sa mga tunay na realidad.
the death of innocence heralds the birth of a cynic. siguro ganun talaga. hindi rin ganun kataas ang pagtingin ko sa mga pari (pulis at kung sinu sino pang nakaluklok diyan sa taas). para na rin kasing mga politico kung umasta. halos wala na akong makitang pagkakaiba.


habang tumatagal ako dito sa mundo, mas lumalawak ang pagkadismaya
ko.

bakit ang simpleng maniwala sa milagro nung bata pa ako? sana nanatili na lamang akong bata at hindi na lang ako lumaki, para hindi na nasira ang tiwala ko sa tao. lalo na sa mga taong akala ko ay kakampi ko. ang hirap makakuha ng kakampi dito sa mundo. kahit kapamilya mo pwedeng magbago. pano pa kaya ang ibang tao na hindi mo kaano ano? hindi ka pa nga nakatalikod ng todo, inuulan na ng saksak ang likod mo.

mahirap magpakabait... dahil ang daming nang aabuso. at bakit din halos lahat ng mababait ang mga unang kinukuha ni Lord no? unfair! kaya siguro di ko makuhang magpakabait. medyo
over the top ang incentive. ang dami tuloy nagliliparang masamang damo kasi high na lahat ng kabayo...

Eto pa, kaninang tanghali habang sinasabayan kong lumamon ang pinsan ko, naisip ko rin na...

It's easier to gain weight than gain money. Pero... it's easier to lose money than to lose weight! Takte namang buhay to.........



The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis. - Dante Alighieri
(lagot!)