the doctor is IN

i just got back from my ob-gyne. my heart was literally in my throat. but since october being breast cancer awareness month, every newspaper and webpage i seem to be browsing is telling me to go see a doctor.

so today my friend kb and i went to maxicare to get a referral. since it is my first time, i agreed to have a doctor there for a check up. but after waiting for more than 30 minutes for my name to be called, i decided to ask for a referral instead. my nerves can't stand the waiting and my stomach has been empty since last night. its almost 1 pm.

after getting our referrals, we went to makati med. i almost ask kb not to leave me alone. she had an appointment with an eent on the second floor. i left her at the eent clinic but not before she jokingly said "gagawin mo pa akong nanay." i don't really feel like going alone to meet my ob-gyne. but i've been putting it off for a long time and i just had to do it before i set my mind to leave this company for good.

since it was my first serious check up. she asked the usual questions about our family's breast cancer history. so i told her the story: my mom passed away due to breast cancer last may and my aunt (my father's sister) had a mastectomy about a few months ago. she asked when my mom was diagnosed and i said last year. she asked, "do i have a sister? " and i said yes. since i have history on both sides, she told me i should have a regular check up after this. my sister too. i didn't ask her how often "regular check up" meant.

she told me she found some small lumps. but to be sure what those are, i better get a breast ultrasound due to my family's history with the disease. she gave me a slip to take back to maxicare.

when i got there, this guy told me that the makati med breast clinic schedule is full. there's an open schedule for october 31st, but its at 3pm. i asked for a 4pm sched, but they're only open until 3pm. wtf. but i have work that day. i asked to be sched for october 29th instead, but its a holiday - i'm told. damn. so i was scheduled for november 5th at 2.30 pm since the morning shedule is full as well. double damn.

i haven't told my family yet. i plan to tell my sister, my brother and my cousin. sincemy cousin works as a nurse in makati med, it would be awkward inventing a reason if i bump into her there. so might as well tell. i'll wait until i have the ultrasound result before i let the rest of the familia in on the secret. no need to give thm a heart attack before i know for sure.

if it's possible to die from too much anticipation, i'm sure i'd be dead by november 5. geez, then that would save me from having to go through the ultrasound and this waiting.

waiting is such a bitch....